2023 was not all good news...

Originally written on February 10, 2023

So I got some bad news yesterday. On Wednesday night, myself and three of my other team member’s received meeting invites for a mandatory company meeting for the next morning. We had three different meeting times. During the first meeting, two of my co-workers were laid off as well as a lot of other people throughout the company. My meeting was next, and I received an “extended” lay off with my last day set as July 31, 2023. My manager was in another meeting and she also got a later lay off date of May 31, 2023. We found out not too long after receiving the news that over 800 people were laid off.

This news has been really hard to absorb. I love my job. I love my team. We all work extremely well together. It was the first job I have ever had that I did not think about moving on from because I just enjoyed the feeling I had of belonging to a team that was accomplishing things. Today was my first day back online and everything is just weird. I feel like there is no sense of direction anymore. Half of my team was gone and I just don’t know what we are suppose to be doing for the next several months.

The other thing that crossed my mind was should I be continuing with the process of not having a baby? When we first got the email my team and I kind of felt like we saw the writing on the wall. We thought we were all getting laid off immediately and I knew that if that was the case I would have to pause this process until I was employed again. While I was still laid off, it was not immediately. I have from now until July 31st to find another job and keep a steady income so I feel better about moving forward rather than starting the whole process over later. This has made me very nervous though.

I have one more blood test tomorrow morning and after that I’m just waiting for the follow up with the doctor to go over all the results.

Originally written on February 27, 2023

My last blood test was February 11th. The past few weeks have been spent anxiously awaiting my upcoming following appointment as well as updating my resume and looking for jobs to apply for.

I’ve gone into Ottawa a couple times and come across a few things in the shops that I had to get. A couple of onesies that I thought were too cute. One set of three with things about family on them. The other is a Joe Fresh one that says “My best friend has paws”. I’ve also started a little book collection as well as picking up an album to journal the pregnancy. Some might say this is jumping the gun but my sister says it’s manifesting. I just saw these things and thought I’d want to see my future child with them. The journal has a lot of writing prompts and I think this will be helpful down the line when my child will have questions about how they came to be.

I have a little over a week until my follow up with the fertility doctor. I am very much looking forward to the next steps.